I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
