Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
