i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
