Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
