I think my fart just growled at me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
