how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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