Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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