its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
