Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
