Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
