So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
