Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
