Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize