at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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