you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
