it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
