Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
