After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
