you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you had me at cake vodka
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
