i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
