fuck your aforementioned shoe
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
