why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
