I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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