Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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