I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
