i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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