Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
