a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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