just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
What a dumb baby whore.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Randomize
