I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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