Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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