Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
