and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
