i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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