What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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