I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
