i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize
