come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
