I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
