also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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