sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So much rum. So many feels.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
