it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
how does that bad decision feel?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
