Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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