i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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