We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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