I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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