Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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