She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Randomize
