he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
