Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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